March 2012
55 posts
1 tag
20 bucks later and I’m still not a mega millionaire. Ah, there goes life dashing my awesome Queen-of-Everything-Dowager-Empress-This-Is-What-I’d-Buy-If-I-Were-Deliciously-Loaded fantasies, but whaddayagonnado?
On the other hand, it is nice to know that someone in Maryland must be freaking the fuck out for having the winning ticket. Go get it!
2 tags
1 tag
4 tags
Reblog this is if it is okay to come to you and...
my tumblr inbox is an open door :)
1 tag
it’s too bad i’m too much of a lady to take a dump in front of my neighbor’s door.
1 tag
while i get that the invisible children organization has good intentions, it sure does employ a bunch of crazy fucktards. i mean, keep it classy for crying out loud. it’s not that difficult.
1 tag
2 tags
my mother has an acquaintance whose name she keeps forgetting so whenever she tells me a story about this woman, she always refers to her as “the lady with the mole that you met once at the supermarket… remember?”
jesus freaking christ.
1 tag
from friends to lovers to barely friends to strangers is all a weird business.
1 tag
2 tags
2 tags
william levy
what a triumph of genetics and free weights, man.
also, RAWR.
1 tag
1 tag
Here’s to the dumbass with Jersey plates who tailgated me all the way to the Queensborough bridge, honking like an asshole when I had to make a short break, almost smacking her Range Rover into me. Here’s a thought: don’t tailgate, genius.
Gruyere cheese. I love you.
1 tag
What was suppose to be a quick trip to the grocery store to pick up some strawberries turned into a full-on lecture in the produce section by a random British woman about how I needed to put my pack of strawberries back because berries shouldn’t be that large and “clearly, they’ve been genetically modified.” Now, ever since cancer crashed into my family, I’ve become a...
1 tag
2 tags
Tupac How Do You Want It
starting the day off...
“When I take a long look at my life, as though from outside, it does not appear...”
– Hermann Hesse, Gertrude (via psychotherapy)
1 tag
I’m growing weary of these singing competitions where so many contestants sound like wailing cats. And now with a man in a suit singing Nirvana. No, my dude.
2 tags
Watchjust singing adele between pitches. we should hang. the other day, i was frying tofu while getting down to my own rendition of jay z’s “can i get a”
1 tag
total sleep robbery, you guys.
1 tag
1. stubbed toe three times on free weights that i keep forgetting to put away. CHECK, CHECK, CHECK.
2. walked into bathroom door while texting. CHECK.
3. stabbed foot on laptop charger prongs. CHECK.
4. tripped on my own feet and spilled hot coffee on myself. CHECK.
5. accidentally scribbled on my leg after scratching said leg with what i thought was a retracted retractable pen. CHECK.
what...
2 tags
yes, i really did include the term “grade-a whoreface” in a message. no regrets about it lol
2 tags
i wonder if chris martin ever looks over to his right and thinks, “god she’s insufferable…”
1 tag
according to a certain tumblr account, $800 for an archival print roughly the size of a postcard is considered “inexpensive art.” maybe in the land of millionairesville.
1 tag
1 tag
1 tag
The Bachelor
anonanimal:
racoondungeon:
The guy isn’t that good looking. Then again, he’s better looking than any date I’ve had in the past 2 years so I guess I’m just being mean.
He really is just so dopey-looking.
he looks like a bizarro version of rafael nadal.
you know how they say that you should always try to be the bigger person? i don’t think that’s universally applicable, especially when you’ve been wronged in a really bad way. so yesterday afternoon, this bitch snapped and wrote an eloquent, yet searing, fuck-you and good riddance e-mail to the ex who so rudely stuck his nose into my life AGAIN last thursday. i’m done with...
1 tag
“Some people feel the rain. Others just get wet.”
– Bob Marley
2 tags
when my phone calls go unanswered for about a week, i start to assume that people are either dead, dying, jailed or committed against their will. that’s how my mind works. healthy, no?
2 tags
The people around you are mirrors, i think to myself. You see yourself reflected in their eyes. if the mirror is true and smooth, you see you true self. That’s how you learn who you are. And you might be a different person to different people, but it’s all feedback that you need, in order to know yourself. But if the mirror is broke or cracked or warped, the reflection is not true. And...