January 2011
63 posts
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December 2010
51 posts
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i’m almost certain that i lost a follower due to my reblog of a post that makes use of the word, vagina.
silly me.
i should have edited the post to refer to it as a “lady garden.”
no. not really.
If I had a vagina, it would never not be full of...
therealestsocksinthegame:
#god’s serving bowl
had to reblog as i just mentally pictured a fuji apple rolling out of a vagina and had myself a laughing fit. thank you.
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i’m sorry, i know, i know. but really. i’m watching black swan and it’s grating on my last nerve. first, there’s the lisp. holy fuck, the lisp. now i can’t fault anyone for having one but christ almighty. then there’s the high-pitched dainty flower of a porcelain rosebud that is natalie portman when she gets upset in this film. it’s like the scene in the...
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the one good thing about having a fight with a person is that, although you’re over it, it’s kind of nice to pretend that you’re still angry so that you can avoid having to make that call during which you’ll most likely have to listen to an account of just how good this person is getting at shooting people on black ops. sometimes i’m a selfish girl and this is one of...
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at some point today, i was trying to get my car up the driveway, only i couldn’t because the massive pile of nuclear winter that dumped down on nyc kept fucking with the all-wheel drive. i was at it for about 15 minutes, trying to clear snow from under my right tire when this massive russian dude came bounding out of nowhere, armed with shovel and started digging me out, cursing the entire...
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ASS just gave me some lip because yesterday, i didn’t promptly respond to ASS’s asinine text message about jessica simpson of all things while i was hanging with family for the holidays.
i swear to god, too many people were smacked in the face with stupid powder sometime between birth and now and need a common sense intervention.
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... AND A PARTRIDGE IN A PEAR TREE!
yeah, so i’m up at 2 am eating ham because that’s what happens here on this day. sad thing is that i need to be up in 8 hours to meet more family for more eating. it’s like we turn into grazing cows on jesus’s birthday. so, wow on the new sign-in screen. also, since there’s not much to do at 2 am while munching on some pork, i decided to do a little light reading on...
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homies: time to submit your rhobh questions to... →
rhobh at evolutionusa dot com
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phaedra’s folktale of having her doctor induce labor on her “7-month” infant because he was sitting on her bladder reminds me of the time that my best friend called me in a panic because she forgot to take her birth control pill at “exactly” the same time she takes it everyday, had sex with her man and then thought she was pregnant by 8 pm when she was sitting in...
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dad: so today, one of the techs asked us if there really was a santa claus.
me: was she for real?
dad: yeah. they were talking about christmas and she asked, "is there really a santa claus?"
me: well, did you laugh?
dad: i was about to but i didn't because i think she really meant it.
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black ops is the new pink, apparently
him: im getting better at killing ppl
me: im happy for you
him: ty. but sometimes i get annoyed cuz of all the camping lol
me: can't you just chuck grenades and pray it hits campers?
him: u just get one
me: that's cheap
him: 2 if u unlock a special perk
him: nades r kinda lame
me: sure
him: its best to fight like a man
him: i rock the flamethrower attachment for the camp0rz though LOL
him: i like to sneak up on them then watch them burn LOL
me: well that doesn't sound psychotic at all
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annoying:
celebrities on twitter who are, on one hand, hot— which is why i follow them, but are ragingly nuts about saving the animals and getting you to sign a petition. yes, the way that the government is handling the wild horse population sucks balls but when the options include: a) warehousing for hopefully, adoption or until they die b) euthanizing them, which makes you cry from the...
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just... LOL
“Willow Smith doesn’t know MATHS since she’s too busy whippin’ her weave to the top of the pop throne, and apparently she doesn’t know what rules are either. Jada Pinkett Smith tells Style Magazine (via Showbiz Spy) that she and Will don’t believe in telling their chirruns what to do and they work together to guide Willow and Jaden through life. And now...
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widget to plug your email into to see if your info... →
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oh snap, johnny weir practically snapped in her...
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him: i unfriended 45 people on facebook today.
me: congratulations. what was your criteria?
him: well, i figured, if i can't remember a time when we had good laughs together, fuck off.
me: sounds good.
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oh, hey there intrusion, old friend. come on in!
“Both wear jeans, with Ms. Middleton sporting a blouse from mid-market retailer Whistles and William wearing a brown sweater over a white shirt from traditional tailors Turnbull and Asser.”
Bought some stuff at Aerie, which is essentially American Eagle Outfitters without menswear. Apparently my purchase qualified me for a free spotted or striped panty. I thought, weird… So I declined and the girl behind the counter looked pissed.
Holiday shopping on Long Island. Oh Christ. I’m tempted to buy Lindt chocolates for everyone.
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johnny/jill/bethanny/skating/wishing plushenko was...
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Bethanny from RHONY on Skating with the Stars:...
My babies, how I've missed you all!
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i feel like doogie howser typing on his dos-prompt...
i have my moments when i shamelessly bask in the glory of being right. this is not one of those times. because for all they say about always taking care of your friends and being there, it all goes to shit when someone gets a man and that union is before god and blessed by his merry horsemen. that’s the moment that i got demoted and i tell ya, it feels like an absolute slap in the face. at...
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“Foursquare check-ins, and Facebook status updates? Justin Frank, a psychoanalyst...”
– Casey Schwartz (via soupsoup)
Yup.
the tart: queensyland: healthy junk food that... →
queensyland:
healthy junk food that lists olestra as an ingredient scares me. it’s the same sort of fear that makes me bring double the amount of underwear required when i go on vacation if for no other reason than the fact that i once knew a girl who shat on herself while she was walking…
ahahahahhahahahahaahhaha!
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healthy junk food that lists olestra as an ingredient scares me. it’s the same sort of fear that makes me bring double the amount of underwear required when i go on vacation if for no other reason than the fact that i once knew a girl who shat on herself while she was walking down the street. these things really do happen, people!
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stocking stuffers? really? in this family, you get one gift and that’s all you’re getting.
i had birthday pizza leftovers for breakfast. i...
clearly, lunch and dinner won’t be as exciting.
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HOMIES: Real Housewives of ATL on Ghost Hunters
Tonight on SYFY.
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This is seriously the most depressing birthday ever. The highlight of my day was eating 4 extra large chocolate chip cookies (no joke, the recipe was procured from Kim Zolciak’s twitter) which lent me like 29 minutes of sugary bliss, followed by a massive sugar crash that left me sad and sleepy. Now I’m in sweats, drinking some diluted almond milk and reading some crazy shit about Jake...